So I had someone ask me why I just talked about what was going on and not how I got here! well here it goes.. From the beginning first i am 20 years old and I AM NOT A MOTHER, I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked that and here is why! My sister I sick she has to many diseases to name and there are times that she cannot take care of her children so my family stepped into the place for the time being, it is not easy can tell you now but to make sure that the kids are taken care of I do it anyway. I won't tell you that I don't complain cause it is very hard at times because I have to give up things in my life that I don't want to have to give up! You may ask like what, well I have to give up my time and my energy or sleeping in at times and going most places by myself. I have to make sure that there will be here to take care of them if I have to go to work and that is not the easiest thing in the world. Most people see me at the park in a eatting place in wal-mart or so many other places and just look at me and say what an adorable daughter that you have and instead of going in the explaining of it all i just shake my head and say thank you or have Eden say thank you and move on. I have worked at M.O.P.S for three years and people that know my sister and that see me twice a month still look at me and say Eden you're mommy did such a good job picking you're cloths out they match you're eyes. It makes me laugh to myself cause they think that she is mine hehe I know I should not laugh but it is just so stinkin funny. I have friends that laugh at me when i go over to see them and they have kids and they say Gabby why come over here I have small children just the same as you at my house. I simply come back with the response that you actually take care of you're children and I know that when i come over there that I won't have to take care of children. Yes that may sounds harsh but it's the honest truth, I would just like to say that I am 20 years old and would love to just be able to come and go as I please but that is impossible with two children at my house! Granted I don't bathe them all the times sometimes yes nor do I put them to bed cause my mom does that cause she is usually working when they come home or she is busy cooking dinner or something of that line but I do have Eden 95% of the time. I don't really want people to read this or talk to me and feel sorry for me cause that is not why I am blogging this or I talk to people, here is why i am blogging or talking to people about this. First I am blogging about this cause someone asked how it was that a 2o year old acts like a 30 year old and is why patient and good with kids most not all but most children trust me I have my times that I don't think that I will make it through some sitting jobs that I get. Man I had this one last year that i thought I was going to loose my mind. all you that think that I am so amazing with kids should have seen me those days lol but I made it through and it made me stronger didn't feel like that at the time but it sure did. Please don't get me wrong I loved that little boy with ever ounce of my body it was just really hard to handle him at times. Second of all I talk to people about it cause if I don't then I will surely suffer from insanity laugh if you please but if you have ever been in a vent session with me you will know exactly what I mean not to mention I would probably be in a hospital somewhere because stress. I feel that sometimes stress is killing me slowly but surely and it's weird. I had a lady tell me oh Gabby you are not dieing from stress, well I may only be 20 but stress could still kill me if I let it run my life. I love love love my niece and nephew if i didn't then I would not put invest as much time and effort into making their lives, I want to see them succeed just like I would want to see my children and will see my children do. Again don't get me wrong I am making myself sound like I don't have a short temper at times or I yell at them or my mom or my sister but I do I can't tell you how many times I lost count I am human that's what happens. I am by no means perfect but I know you guys knew that! lol I was just thinking that i have started my life story from the end and I will go to the beginning.. lol oh well in this I have got some amazing friends that will sit and listen and then either give me advise or say goodness I don't understand why they do this to you. A very wise man told me what does not kill you makes you stronger well I am not really for sure what more I can handle without breaking it's hard to keep you're head up when you feel that you're life is in well pieces. that is a different part this is only the past few years! That is all i think that I have on this one stay tuned for the last part.
